sarkaye's Xanga

So Long, Farewell, Auf Wiedersehen, Goodbye

Tue, 22 Jan 2008 22:13:23 GMT

The very first blog I ever wrote was a treatise on toilet paper. I sang the praises of Kleenex Cottonelle, more specifically the "triple roll." The past couple of times I've been toilet paper shopping, however, the triple rolls are nowhere to be found. Perhaps if more people had read my post, this beautiful invention wouldn't have gone the way of the dodo.

In the spirit of goodbyes, I feel that it's perhaps time to say one to a dear old friend. Over two years ago I started blogging on Xanga, and in its day, it was certainly the place to do so. I've hung on much longer than most, not wanting to start over and lose all my old posts and comments. However, it's time to move on. And while I will certainly miss "currently listening/reading/watching," I am willing to make the sacrifice for a more mature (think "grown up" not "suggestive") host site that allows me, among other things, to categorize my posts. "How many blogs has Sarah written about music?" you may be asking yourself. Why, 33! Anyway, this is my official invitation/solicitation for you to visit my new and improved blog at sarahreed.wordpress.com. Thanks for reading, y'all!

Political, Not Partisan

Tue, 15 Jan 2008 00:51:29 GMT

I love Amazon.com. Today I was looking for a book for my dad's birthday, and another book popped out at me from the "new for you" section. Based on past purchases and books viewed on its site, Amazon really thinks I would like the new Tony Campolo book, "Red Letter Christians: A Citizen's Guide to Faith and Politics." And I think I will like it as well, because I sure enough bought it along with the book for my dad.

Although I voted in the past two presidential elections, I haven't cared much about politics in the past. However, these days several influencing factors have steered me in a different direction ... conversations with my dad, West Wing DVDs, Derek Webb lyrics as well as a couple of books to name a few. Perhaps in the coming months I will blog a bit more about political issues. But for now, I will leave you with an excerpt from an article I read the other day that beautifully sums up what I think Christians should be about politically.

“The biblical prophets tell us that God judges societies not by their gross national product, their military strength, or their cultural dominance, but by their justice and righteousness – especially how they treat the weak and vulnerable. There are multiple threats to human life and dignity that suggest a new moral agenda that could bring us together. Some of the elements of that new agenda could be:

Overcoming extreme global poverty and disease, as well as unnecessary poverty at home
Finding a better path to national and global security
Advancing a consistent ethic of the sanctity of human life
Healing the wounds of racism and sexism
Ending human trafficking and promoting human rights
Strengthening marriage and families
Renewing the moral fabric of our culture
Protecting God’s creation

… As for politics in an election year, the U.S. Catholic bishops have some good advice for us. They counsel Christians to be political but not partisan, principled but not ideological, clear but also civil, and engaged but not used.”

Jim Wallis – “A Real ‘Values’ Agenda” from Sojourners

Webb's Anatomy

Fri, 11 Jan 2008 18:39:43 GMT

I stole my title from Sandra McCracken’s blog. I don’t think she’ll mind … or know. J

I wanted to let everyone know about a song you can download for free, a version of which was featured on Grey’s Anatomy last night. A few months ago, Grey’s opened with the song “Name” from Derek Webb’s latest album, and last night it closed with Caedmon’s Call’s “Ten Thousand Angels,” a song written by Derek’s wife Sandra McCracken. On their newest album Overdressed (reminiscent of their older, perhaps better, years) Caedmon’s welcomes back Derek to the fold, and his vocals endearingly highlight McCracken’s lyrics in “Angels,” a song only available on the pre-order limited edition album. However, Sandra has offered her own version of the song (with Derek backing her on vocals) for free on her website.

“So lift up your heart now, to this unfolding. All that has been broken will be restored. Here runs deep waters for all who are thirsty. Love has come, love has come for you.”

2007: An Illustrated Year in Review

Mon, 07 Jan 2008 01:37:40 GMT

One of my favorite Christmas traditions is the Christmas card. I couldn’t tell you the history or anything, but for as long as I can remember my family has sent and received them. It’s exciting to get something other than bills or advertisements in the mail, even if it is just a simple card. Growing up I always appreciated those who would send a picture with their card, even more those who sent a letter. Ah, the Christmas card letter. Granted, for most people this is usually a somewhat censored version of the previous year. You never get a letter saying, “Well, Johnny got out on parole this past April,” or “Suzy fell off the wagon once again, and we’re still waiting to learn her whereabouts.” The Christmas letter serves to maximize the year’s triumphs while minimizing or ignoring its pitfalls. Anyway, all that to say that instead of sending out my own Christmas letter this year, I’ve decided to blog it. So here for your reading pleasure is my own illustrated version of the year’s events including the highs and lows … with only a little bit of censorship. J

Wheaton, Part 1

I began 2007 in a scramble to get my application in for a master’s program at Wheaton College. I had finally decided that grad school was for me, and Wheaton was at the top of my list. The scramble was due to a grad assistantship application deadline in February with one of the requirements being acceptance into the graduate school. So began the process of essays, transcript requests, and recommendation letters. I soon found out I was accepted into their Biblical Exegesis program, a definite cause for celebration. However, after a long application process including essay questions, a test, a phone interview and an all day long campus visit with several mini interviews, come April I found out I did not get the grad assistantship I was seeking. Disheartened and disappointed, I decided to defer my acceptance into the program for a year, then not completely sure if Wheaton was the place for me.

Concerts

2007 was perhaps my favorite year in regard to concerts. I finally was able to cross Ben Harper off my list (twice J) and saw Derek Webb twice as well. In addition to my two absolute favorites, I caught shows with Jeff Tweedy, Guster, Charlie Hall, Shawn McDonald, Indigo Girls, Anberlin, Switchfoot, Rilo Kiley, and the Decemberists. Best acts were Ben Harper at Cain’s in Tulsa with Jayme (front row), Rilo Kiley at Palladium in Dallas with Erin (second row) and Decemberists at the Vic Theatre in Chicago with Jayme (second-ish row).

Running

The on again off again relationship continues. I ran again in the Redbud Classic, its 25^th annual, and my 3^rd. I also progressed onto the half marathon in the OKC Memorial last April after two years of relay team participation. However, I slacked a little in my training and didn’t run the whole thing as was my initial goal. I did run further than I ever had before, though, and finished the race with a desire to complete the full marathon the following year. So the end of 2007 began my training for April ’08. 26(.2) miles in my 26^th year. Yep.

Ben-friend to Boyfriend

2007 also saw the coming and going of my first “grown up” relationship. An ambiguous friendship progressed into a defined relationship bringing with it both excitement and frustration. I am so thankful for the experience, definitely a learning one at that. I was honored in his pursuit of me and challenged by his character. And while breaking up was hard initially (He broke up with me … I said I’d share the lows as well J), I wouldn’t trade that experience or change anything with the perspective I have now.

Haircut

On the heels of a break up, what better way to begin moving on than a drastic haircut? I usually have a hair cut goal I’m working toward. You know – cutting bangs, growing out the bangs, blonde, red, etc. For awhile I’d been admiring the Victoria Beckham shorter in the back, longer in the front cut (a reverse mullet, if you will), and the break up was just the impetus I needed to follow through. I’ll just say that it’s my favorite hair cut I’ve ever had and that I get compliments on it all the time. Seriously, strangers come up to me asking me who cuts my hair. Kudos to Kendra … and my inspiration, Posh Spice.

Daniel’s Surgery

This summer my brother finally had a surgery his doctors have speculated about since his cerebral palsy diagnosis at six months old. With a decrease in mobility over the past few years, they decided to go in and cut tendons in his groin and hamstrings in order to lengthen the muscles. The expected recovery was up to eight weeks in hip to toe casts, pretty much confined to the house the remainder of his summer. To add to the stress, my mom got really sick a few days before the surgery was scheduled and couldn’t make it there. Thankfully my sweet aunt flew down to take over the “mom” role that neither my dad nor myself were equipped to fill, not being moms ourselves. On the morning of his surgery I was able to share with him the verses that happened to be listed in conjunction with the devotional my church put out over the summer. “The LORD has said to me in the strongest terms: ‘Do not think like everyone else does. Do not be afraid that some plan conceived behind closed doors will be the end of you. Do not fear anything except the LORD Almighty. He alone is the Holy One. If you fear him, you need fear nothing else.” Isaiah 8:11-13. What sticks out to me the most from being there for that experience was the incredible courage I saw in my brother as well as his trust in the Lord. Before the surgery and in the months to follow, he shared how he believed God brought him through the extreme difficulty (not an exaggeration in the slightest) and has made him stronger as a result. Indeed He has.

Saturdate

What began as a vision in my friend Stacey’s mind nearly two years ago came to fruition this summer in a conference about love, sex, relationships, and truth. When Stacey asked me to speak at Saturdate, I felt terror and thrill completely intertwined. I don’t consider myself a public speaker, and my topic (singleness) was personal. I would much rather have written an article or something. However, from the moment she asked me I knew no matter how scared I was, it was something I was supposed to do. And do well. In the months and weeks leading up to the event, I learned to depend upon the Lord in a way that I hadn’t ever before, and He faithfully provided what became, “Singleness, Embracing the Season.” The process of preparation was almost as precious as the event itself. I was so privileged to meet and chat with Shawn and Kate McDonald, our headlining performer and speaker, as I served as their chauffeur for the weekend. Everyone’s talks were incredible and in addition to Shawn, we were all blessed by Charlie Hall leading us in worship Friday night. I met incredible new people and saw friendships strengthened as only serving together affords. Such a short space cannot do justice to the weekend, so I’ll just stop there.

Ministry

With my best “hang out” friend moving to Tulsa in September, not to mention the breakup, I had a little more time on my hands this past fall. Really wanting to redeem the time, I looked for opportunities to serve both at church and school. Within my FLOCK, a new teaching team began this fall with the intent that members of our group would take turns teaching our class under the mentorship of our current teacher. Considering that’s maybe what I want to do with my life, I thought it might be a good opportunity for me to gain some experience in that area. Who knows what people gain from it, but I certainly have learned a lot through the process. Also, as the Campus Crusade advisor I’ve made an effort to be more active this year by going to meetings and even getting to speak at one of them. Perhaps my favorite ministry involvement this year has been my work with Conversation Café, a ministry to international students to help them work on their English and in turn build relationships. I’ve gotten to know one girl in particular who is now truly my friend and often joins me at church. The volunteers for this ministry are so genuine, and I am incredibly blessed to have met and now know them.

Wheaton, Part 2

As the fall semester began, I felt more of a sense of urgency to figure out my plans for the following year. If Wheaton wasn’t for me, then I had better soon figure out what was. The more I thought about it and talked it over with family, friends, and even an old professor, the more my heart settled in on Wheaton again as my number one option. I figured the ultimate test would be another visit – half business and half pleasure. My cousin started there as a freshman this fall, and so I planned a trip to visit her, complete with fun restaurants, sight seeing, and even a concert (actually, a couple of concerts J). On the business side, I arranged to sit in on several classes and meet with a couple of students in the program I was considering. I left for the trip fairly confident in my plans to begin there next fall, but I left with certainty. Barring any unforeseen circumstances, I should be joining Jayme fall of ’08 … for Christ and His Kingdom.

So there you have it, 2007 in a nutshell … perhaps a large one at that. Thanks for taking the time to read my Christmas card letter, friends!

Behold the Lamb of God

Mon, 24 Dec 2007 19:30:41 GMT

Hi friends! It’s Christmas Eve and I feel compelled to post what else but song lyrics. Simple and poetic, they speak to more than just a baby Jesus in a manger, but to the God who made himself nothing. Merry Christmas, y’all!

Andrew Peterson – Gather Round Ye Children, from Behold the Lamb of God

Gather round, ye children, come

Listen to the old, old story

Of the power of death undone

By an infant born of glory

Son of God, Son of Man

Gather round, remember now

How creation held its breath

How it let out a sigh

And it filled up the sky with the angels

Son of God, Son of Man

So sing out with joy for the brave little boy

Who was God but he made himself nothing

Well he gave up his pride and he came here to die like a man

Therefore God exalted him to the place of highest praises

And he gave him the name above every name

That at the very name of Jesus

Son of God

So in heaven and earth and below

Every knee would bow and worship

And every tongue would proclaim

That Jesus, he reigns with the angels

Free Rice

Tue, 11 Dec 2007 22:27:16 GMT

Every week in staff meeting I begin with "Staff Share Time" (cheesy, I know) in which I ask a question that each of my girls has to answer ... questions like your number one pet peeve, the first thing you ever wanted to be when you grew up, your closest celebrity encounter, etc. Last week I had the girls share their favorite website (other than Facebook), and the answers varied from imdb.com to theknot.com (got an engaged one) to the UCO website. I used this particular staff meeting to promote my new favorite website - freerice.com. I am incredibly impressed when people come up with creative ways to give. Soliciting for donations only goes so far, but if you can come up with a product (forthcoming blog on buyshoessavelives.com) or idea that people latch on to that somehow generates profit that in turn goes toward a good cause, that to me is remarkable. Free rice works as a vocabulary quiz site that donates 20 grains of rice through the United Nations World Food Program for every word guessed correctly. So, if you have a five minute break at work (or need one from studying), you can spend/waste that time in a productive way by contributing to the needs of the hungry while building your vocabulary. And, I must say, I'm excited to see that my pop culture exposure has enhanced my vocabulary. I knew cerulean from a Gilmore Girls episode and watershed from an Indigo Girls song. Oh, and capacious! While not a pop culture reference, I did know this word because of an SAT vocab book I think my dad got me awhile back. It uses silly phrases and pictures to aid in memory, and for capacious there was a picture of a boy wearing a baseball cap probably ten times the size of his head with the phrase underneath "This cap is too spacious." It sure came in handy when I was able to guess that capacious meant roomy. Seriously, check it out ... I wanna know everyone's best vocab level!

The Innocent Man at UCO

Mon, 19 Nov 2007 21:15:56 GMT

Earlier in the year my attendance was required at an on campus conference for everyone under the umbrella of Administration and Finance, of which Housing had recently become a part. One of the main objectives of the conference (other than "inspiring" us via "ispirational" speakers) was to have us intermingle with the various departments on campus, as was evidenced by our assigned seating at tables with complete strangers. During one particularly cheesy inspirational speech, we were told to go around our table and share an experience that had greatly impacted our lives. My cynicism soon turned to pure fascination as one of the ladies at my table volunteered her story. It turned out that back in the 80s her brother had been wrongfully convicted of murdering his wife. Greg Wilhoit was sentenced to death, and lived on death row five years before his appeal was heard and conviction overturned. The death penalty had always fascinated me, and I was shocked to meet someone so deeply affected by it. My curiousity prompted a long discussion between the two of us later that day, and Nancy even gave me a DVD with the 20 20 and American Justice news stories about her brother. John Grisham's non-fiction book, "The Innocent Man, Murder and Injustice in a Small Town," chronicles the conviction and near execution of Ron Williamson, another Oklahoma man wrongly convicted. Ron's cell happened to be just accross from Greg's, whose story also finds a place in Grisham's book.

The death penalty concerns me for many reasons, the possible execution of innocent people being one of them. Add to that the astronomical cost of death penalty litigation and the fact that minority convicts are more likely to get the death penalty than whites, and my concern grows. And then there's the question of whether or not it even deters crime. Even if the state has legitimate authority to put a person to death, should it? I know I'm a little Derek Webb obsessed, but there's another quote that fits. "How can I kill the ones I'm supposed to love? My enemies are men like me. I will protest the sword if it's not weilded well. My enemies are men like me. Peace by way of war is like purity by way of fornication. It's like telling someone murder is wrong and then showing them by way of execution."

Last week I was thrilled to notice a blurb in Centralities (the daily UCO faculty/staff campus news email) about Greg Wilhoit speaking at UCO tomorrow night. Sadly, I'm already in Texas for Thanksgiving, but I thought I'd pass along the info for anyone else interested. Seriously, someone needs to go and tell me all about it! From Centralities:

‘The Innocent Man’ Greg Wilhoit Visits Campus, Nov. 20

The College of Liberal Arts Speaker’s Series welcomes “The Innocent Man” Greg Wilhoit for a lecture on his five-year death row experience and life after exoneration at 7:30 p.m. Tuesday, Nov. 20, in Pegasus Theater, Liberal Arts. Wilhoit was the first person in Oklahoma to be exonerated from death row.

Wilhoit’s story was told in last year’s novel “The Innocent Man” by John Grisham. For more information, visit http://www.libarts.ucok.edu/speakers.htm .

A Beautiful Mask

Thu, 15 Nov 2007 01:25:48 GMT

Evidently I like to make up words. Last week I was meeting with a group of people, and I mentioned how I sometimes feel fake when talking to international students. However, I didn’t use the word “fake”; I said “disingenuine.” I soon corrected myself (after being called out on it J) and explained that I meant “disingenuous.” My point in sharing this somewhat boring anecdote is to say that in my position relating to students on a daily basis (international or American) I sometimes have to play the part. I’m an introvert living an extroverted life. And while most days I love smiling and greeting every person I see, there are days that it doesn’t come naturally.

Like anyone else I suppose, occasionally I’ll run across someone I find especially difficult to relate to. In such cases I often overcompensate for my lack of interest in or affection toward them, which is when the disingenuousness (Is that a word??) really rears its ugly head. I used to see my only two options as: 1. acting fake or 2. acting rude. Recently, however I remembered a lovely story C.S. Lewis recounts in Mere Christianity about true inner transformation. “The … story is about someone who had to wear a mask; a mask which made him look much nicer than he really was. He had to wear it for years. And when he took the mask off he found his own face had grown to fit it. He was now really beautiful. What had begun as a disguise had become a reality.” Lewis goes on to explain, “there are two kinds of pretending. There is a bad kind, where the pretense is there instead of the real thing; as when a man pretends he is going to help you instead of really helping you. But there is also a good kind, where the pretense leads up to the real thing. When you are not feeling particularly friendly but know you ought to be, the best thing you can do, very often, it to put on a friendly manner and behave as if you were a nicer person than you actually are. Very often the only way to get a quality in reality is to start behaving as if you had it already.” I am convinced (as was Lewis) that this pretending is not merely human striving, but rather God transforming us into the image of His Son. I may begin in a pretense of love, but I am praying that God actually change me into a loving person ... no longer "disingenuine."

A Savior on Capitol Hill

Fri, 09 Nov 2007 17:45:48 GMT

I wouldn't say I'm a very political person. Part of that is laziness, and part is disillusionment. I feel like people who really care about politics believe that politics can change things. "If we could just elect the right person ..." I suppose I just don't see politics as the answer to all the world's problems. I believe that true change begins with changed people. And while I am thankful for government, I am also disheartened by its fallibility. I am reading a book about the kingdom of God, and in the foreword (written by Don Miller) he recounts a conversation with a friend in which his friend says, "when Jesus comes, when Jesus reigns, we will be amazed at how differently and perfectly He governs." Amen. Come, Lord Jesus.

So considering that in the coming months "politics" will be the news of the day, I thought I'd share some lyrics from a man I admire who has quite a lot to say about politics. (i.e. "My first allegiance is not to a flag, a country or a man. My first allegiance is not to democracy or blood. It's to a King and a kingdom.) For your reading (and perhaps listening) pleasure: Derek Webb's "A Savior on Capitol Hill"

I’m so tired of these mortal men

With their hands on their wallets and their hearts full of sin

Scared of their enemies, scared of their friends

And always running for re-election

So come to D.C. if it be thy will

Because we’ve never had a savior on Capitol Hill

You can always trust the devil or a politician

To be the devil or a politician

But beyond that friends you’d best beware

‘Cause at the Pentagon bar they’re an inseparable pair

And as long as the lobbyist are paying their bills

We’ll never have a savior on Capitol Hill

All of our problems gonna disappear

When we can whisper right in the president’s ear

He could walk right across the reflection pool

In his combat boots and ten thousand dollar suit

You can render under to Caesar everything that’s his

You can trust in his power to come to your defense

It’s the way of the world, the way of the gun

It’s the trading of an evil for a lesser one

So don’t hold your breath or your vote until

You think you’ve finally found a savior up on Capitol Hill

Oh, and yay for Derek's song "Name" gaining quite the audience last night on Grey's Anatomy.

Past/Present/Future

Thu, 25 Oct 2007 16:48:40 GMT

I'm not sure I've ever had a day quite like yesterday. Initially I would have called it just a really good day. However, upon closer inspection I realized that yesterday was a sort of microcosm of my life ... a collision of past, present, and future.

Future:

Yesterday afternoon I visited an old college professor to discuss my future educational plans/goals. I came armed with my list of questions, thankful for someone with whom I could be honest and transparent about my insecurities and fears. Said professor gave me an hour of his time, and while I went in somewhat unsure and intimidated by the whole grad school process, I left much more confident and enthusiastic about what the next few years hold. I am excited about possibly moving to a completely different part of the country, for all the newness around the corner. I realize lately more and more the fullness of time in regard to this pursuit. I have said it before, but my heart aches to be back in the classroom. Much to my delight, I will have that opportunity this next week as I visit my cousin at Wheaton and sit in on fun classes like Principles of Interpretation, Hebrew Exegesis of Haggai/Malachi, and Greek Exegesis of Romans. Making Chi-town plans with Jayme (including two concerts … yay) yesterday on the drive back from Shawnee only intensified my excitement about not only the next few days, but even more so the next few years.

Past:

After my meeting with Dr. Kelly, I got the chance to be nostalgic. On my way out of Owens I ran into two more old professors and got to chat for a few minutes. I walked the halls of WMU, stopping to talk with some of the current RAs. I visited my old room with its arch window overlooking the oval, and therefore fountain. I walked through the basement and thought about the sometimes out of the way trips to visit Stacey and then Sydnie on the opposite end of the hall if I didn’t have time for a lengthy visit with Ray, the night security guard. Walking out of WMU, I remembered the view from my room my freshman year of the sun setting behind Raley Chapel. I walked through the GC and saw the infamous stairs that led to a broken ankle and six of the hardest weeks of my life. I ate dinner with my old college roommate at a classic Shawnee joint, and even ran into the parents-in-law of an old friend whose wedding I was in nearly six years ago. And while I have some good memories, I have some regrets as well. I didn’t always make the most of college in terms of relationships or class work. I am a different person now than I was then, which leads me to the present.

Present:

Because of dinner with Katie, I made it back to Edmond a little late for church, but in plenty of time for FLOCK prayer. For awhile now, several people in our small group have felt a need/desire to pray together more often, more than just at meals or before/after a lesson. We do a pretty good job of devoting ourselves to the apostle’s teaching, the breaking of bread, and to fellowship, but in prayer we could definitely do better. (Acts 2:42) So we have begun to meet together after church on Wednesday nights. Prayer could be its own separate post, but I will say that I am just beginning to learn and see its power and effects. I am incredibly blessed to pray alongside such amazing people who love and care for our small group and want to see God glorified in all the world. Anyway, prayer was followed by an intense workout session with my own personal trainer and new friend, Yuli. She is anxious to put her kinesiology knowledge to use, and I am a more than willing guinea pig! I’m having just a bit of a hard time walking today after my forty lunges with weights, followed by the question, “Okay, can you do twenty more?” Um, okay. It is these things, these relationships and myriad of other opportunities God has brought into my life this semester that leave me amazed.

Yesterday I realized that I am blessed to have great memories, but glad not to be the same person today that I was then. I am content with my life now, deeply satisfied and pleased even. However, I look forward to the future with a joyful anticipation and excitement, albeit a little nervousness. So I am thankful for my past, present, and future. And I am thankful for yesterday and its collision of eras that prompted this reflection.